A lifelong journey

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I started my journey about 7 years ago, I’ll be 30 this May.
I used to be FAT!! I was miserable growing up, even though I was popular and had many great friends, I was always the fat girl, or that’s how I saw myself anyway.. I came to the point of knowing that I had to change my life to be happy and my journey began.
It was just a matter of being fed up with feeling bad for myself and not doing anything about it, to realizing it was the smallest changes that could “change” me. I started eating like I KNEW I should and moving more.
When I started, I was pushing 240lbs. Holy cow, I WAS a cow ๐Ÿ˜› It took about 9 months to lose 100 lbs. I was eating right and had started doing Beach Body – Power90, 5 times a week. Once the weight started coming off, there was no stopping me. I got down to 135lbs, and then 3 months later I found out I was pregnant. Ironic much?? It scared me in every sense of the word and then some, (that’s a story for a whole ‘notha day) but I was healthy, and could provide the best body I had ever had for my son to grow in.
He’s now a smart, funny and ever so handsome 5 year old.
What I feel like had been my entire life, I was on the heavy side. It probably started in 3rd grade, when I had a teacher that would reward us with obnoxious amounts of candy (whatever happened to pencils and stickers, huh?). I had thyroid tests done, but I suppose I just wasn’t born with the skinny gene :p I still cringe when I see pictures of myself from 10 years ago, and honestly I think that I try to forget a lot of my life in that time, as if it were a traumatic experience…. BUT I love myself more than ever these days ๐Ÿ™‚
I have kept the weight off (after having to lose 40 again after the baby)… for a good 5 years. I’m from S. Louisiana, so growing up, there were always the typical Cajun dishes… Lots of spice, rice and gravy, fried and smothered in decadent sauces, over rice, pasta or bread…
I L.O.V.E. to cook and all things food, and these days I strive to make the healthiest, most flavorful interpretation of every dish possible!
Herein lies one of the main reasons for this blog. I want to show people that, IT. CAN. BE. DONE. I cook every single night. Healthy, delicious, flavorful recipes for my family are always around. I make food taste good, and I keep the weight off. It’s all about a healthy balance… in every part of your life…. that makes it worth living ๐Ÿ™‚
On body image…. Since I was always “the fat girl” I’ve always felt like the fat girl. Even now, I am a healthy 145lbs (I have linebacker shoulders, haha…. not really, well maybe a little ;)) aaaanyway, I still see the fat girl when I look in the mirror, and I KNOW I’m not anymore. I have a fiance’ who adores me, a beautiful 5 year old son, and the life I’ve always dreamed of. I just have to find the acceptance of self, I guess. I’m working on it everyday.
Because I want to be nothing but happy in this beautiful life ๐Ÿ™‚
Honestly, I know I have issues with food. Always will. I love eating healthy and being healthy, but it’s a struggle… Every.Single.Day. Thinking that in the back of your mind, that if you eat this ooone thing, you’ll gain weight, any amount of it. Funny thing is, I haven’t…, but now I know that I can eat one special thing, and it IS special, because I’m not eating it everyday. I KNOW in my deepest of hearts, that I will NEVER be 200+ lbs again, or anywhere close to that, because I don’t want to. Being heavy for 20 years was no fun. Always worried about how my clothes looked, pulling my shirt down over my larger than life gut, and I don’t have to do thatย anymore. and I LOVE it.
That’s not saying that I’ll ever be comfortable naked…. anywhere, but I’m a step closer everyday ๐Ÿ˜‰
I do think it’s more about the image that society or life in general has put on us. Of course I would love to lose another 10 lbs, but I’m sure even then, there’d still be that ole’ damned extra skin, haha. I think the objective is just to be happy with yourself any way you are. I’m at a healthy weight. I eat well, but I also treat myself..
(sometimes in excess…) But I’m ok with that ๐Ÿ˜‰
Here’s to working on workin’ it ๐Ÿ˜‰
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